It’s never easy being “Mom”-watching our babies stumble
through this life and wanting to kiss their booboos and smack down anyone that
hurts them. It’s difficult to watch them
make mistakes as they grow into their teen years. It hurts most when they do
things that hurt so much that you’re not sure you’ll ever get over it---but you
do, and welcome the hugs and presents and just get past it and bury the pain.
As they become adults, you hope that all the stuff you told
them has made some sort of positive impact on their lives. A bit of wisdom to guide them on this
adventure called “life”. Getting angry
with them when despite all that you’ve tried to tell them, they make dumb
mistakes and decisions that ultimately hurt them and all the hopes and dreams
they had in their younger years are slowly eroded into what amounts to everyday
living, Work, families of their own, and all the sweet simple stuff.
They settle in to their routine and you come to love and
accept them just as they are.
As I write this, my first born is in ICU in “guarded”
condition fighting for his life. If you
follow me on Facebook, you know the whole story so I’m not going to go through
it here. Today, this space is for my selfish side. To get out all that’s going on in my head.
I never imagined for a moment that I would be where I am.
And I don’t like it one bit! Realistically and logically I know the seriousness
of the situation and the possible worst case scenario. Because of my faith, I’m
just not accepting THAT outcome.
Over the past week, since this trial began my faith has
grown by leaps and bounds. While I pray all the time, I confess my prayer life in
general hasn’t been my strongest spiritual discipline. However, the other day,
as I was reading all the comments and support I saw a little seed grow into a
prayer tree! As I posted, I saw friends
of friends tell me that their prayer group or church was also praying for
John. And as more folks posted…more
groups and churches adding John to their prayers….and so this Prayer Tree is
blooming and growing….and I do believe that it reaches all the way into God’s
lap!
My laptop wallpaper says it all : “God is in control”. I’ve yelled at Him, screamed at Him, and most
of all, thanked Him for surrounding me with His love-and all of you!
